Baby Daddy

Don't nobody ever question if I am a real man. Or a real father! I been fighting for 13 years and just found this.

Here is a Responsive Declaration to the Superior Court of California, County of San Joaquin Dated April 15th, 1997 (Isaiah is now 13)

First before I commence with going into detail on the matter at hand, I would like to express my deepest apologies for my personal matters to be sorted out by the courts. It is my believe that there are matters of a more serious nature that need undivided attention. On the other hand, I will not hesitate to ask for assistance regardless of the outcome, when all other avenues of approach have been exhausted.

The first time my presence was made at the courthouse was on December 9th 1997. This was to establish parental relationship, visitation, and temporary child support. At first I was intimidated by the process but once I gathered myself the mediator that assisted Yvette and I was very receptive to each others needs, questions, and concerns. She clearly explained in detail all the visitation periods and the arrangement for transportation of my son. Even though I felt the amount of Child Support would financially break me; I accepted the challenge and reverted my thoughts to my beloved offspring as a motivational tool to "just do it!" The courts got me to recognize the importance and the self-satisfaction when I am responsible for all the aspects of my sons life. Despite what the money is to be used for it could only enable me to advance in the career I have chosen. It was a long drive back to Los Angeles, California where preparation for the future took place. The scheduled visits (at the early stages) that needed to take place with minimal breaks in-between became a dilemma when weighing all my priorites. I could not afford to drive to Stockton every 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend of the month as well as holding onto my financial obligations. I chose to get the money first in order to build a trust factor with Yvette. My son was extremely young and obviously in need of maternal security. Every time I recieved a pay check from that point on, Isaiah came off top. Sometimes sacrificing more than I could afford. If there was change left over I would schedule a trip to Stockton with ample amount of time notified prior to my arrival. Yvette cooperated as much as her parents were willing to let me visit. For the most part, longer than the court order read.

A turning point came in my life when I was wrongfully terminated from my job late in February, where the very costly process of arbitration has begun. I have learned if you do well too fast, it presence a threat to immediate supervisors in the Mortgage Banking Industry. I immediately contacted Yvette to make her aware of my misfortune. Luckily on Valentines's day weekend I had done so well I doubled my support payment and visited my son. After a week of indecision I realized there what no longer a reason for me to still live in Los Angeles. I focused on being closer to my son so that I could take part in all scheduled visitation. I relocated to Sacramento where there is an opportunity available but it will take time. I am self employed and receive 100% commission. I wish paychecks where automatic. I will not attempt to deceive anyone. I am currently one and a half months behind and giving 125% effort to catch up. Estimated time for first amount of funds received is around June 1st. I can only do my best.

Since I have moved to Sacramento (which Yvette was notified weeks before my arrival) I have been treated with absolutely no respect or decency as a human being.

I understood that the adjustment would be difficult for her family so I proceeded with caution. To my ignorance I did not know that my race (Black) was a problem. It is clear to see now that after I have sought and gained knowledge they (Yvette and her parents) chose not to accept me for who I am. I have been subject to comments that were intended to defame only. To make it short (Yvette and her parents) have attempted to provoke me in every way unimaginable to go overboard so their ungodly ideals about black people were accurate. I refused to give in and it has only enabled me to hone in on my talents I didn't think were available. They are (if they chose to love Isaiah unconditionally) in need to first accept and respect Isaiah for being Black. Then gain knowledge about our culture, different mannerisms, and how differently we interact with others so that his growing under their wing will not be a confusing period for him. I cannot change who I am and will not because of the lack of knowledge on their part. Their fantasy was that Chris was going to be a "once a year" father being that I moved to Los Angeles. They clearly feel threatened by my presence and don't welcome me inside their home. That is their right. But the courts say that I can at least be a "part time father." That decision I will honor.

A lot of this information is obsolete in the court of law in its simplest form, but pertinent when attempting to paint a clear picture. I humbly list the request of the court:

1. Visitation transfer at a neutral site. Preferrably picking Isaiah up and the Stockton Police Station and for release at the Sacramento Sheriffs station. This would eliminate all confrontation with third parties. Times I have dropped Isaiah off at Yvette's place of residence she was not home and I had to leave Isaiah with his step-grandfather. Resentment is manifesting and it would be a wise decision to eliminate unnecessary confrontation.

2. Made aware of Isaiah's health care provider. His pediatrician's name and phone number, so that I could have direct contact with him. They have threatened to manipulate the court order by providing a doctors note that will block my visitations. Yvette's mother is a registered nurse here in Stockton and can possibly persuade for the forging of a non-visitation slip due to illness. On March 19th a day clearly scheduled for my visit, Yvette told me I could not see my son or come pick him up because he was sick. I attempted to reconcile by offering to just sit with him and that was not honored either.

3. Be given Isaiah's Social Security Number. I have clearly attempted to obtain that information from them and there response was, "we don't know you yet, you could be using it to illegally claim Isaiah on your tax returns." I informed them that it would be used for acceptance of my life insurance policy while serving honorably in the USMC. They still have not responded.

CONCLUSION: It is so clear to see that Yvette is not making the decision in her life when it comes to what is best for Isaiah as a whole. I hope that she recognizes that I am more of an important entity in Isaiah's life then any third party. Whatever the outcome, I would like to appreciate the courts for giving me the opportunity to have my argument heard.

Respectfully,
Chris Gonzales